


Something Different

by xenosaurus



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Established Relationship, Family Issues, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 02:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10981218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenosaurus/pseuds/xenosaurus
Summary: You don't always know what you need to hear until it's already been said.





	Something Different

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes when you give me prompts, I write a logical fic in reply.
> 
> Other times you ask me for "things we said after we fell in love" and I write this.

The human body cannot make blood without iron, nor bone without calcium. In the same way, love is a nutrient for the mind. Deprived of it, pieces fail to grow.

There are stories where Goemon held his infant son above the boiling oil to spare his life, if only for a few moments. In some of those stories, this act of selflessness earned the child a pardon.

If the baby did survive, how long could his father's love sustain him?

How many years did he have before his soul had digested every molecule of it?

What was he left with afterwards?

*

"You should eat more."

Joker's hands are careful as they trace the bones of Yusuke's ribcage. He's checking for fractures, dipping his fingers reluctantly into fresh, red-purple bruises to do so. Yusuke knows how to breathe into the pain, but he doesn't. He lets the hurt crawl through his body and etch itself into his face, trusting Joker to use it as a diagnostic rather than a punishment.

He is safe here, anchored by his boyfriend's warm, steady hands. It's strange; he hadn't realized how unsafe the world was until he found a quiet corner.

"If this is you offering more snacks, I gratefully accept."

Joker snorts, not reaching all the way to a laugh. A shame. His laugh is a blessing.

"Sorry, we're out for the day. I mean in general. You're too skinny. I worry you'll get sick."

"I eat when I am able," Yusuke counters, troubled by the concern in Joker's voice.

The way Joker sighs is familiar. It's a very specific movement of the shoulders and face, more associated with his glasses than his mask. He knows how to breathe into pain just as well as Yusuke does.

But why are his eating habits a source of pain?

"I'm serious, Fox. You're burning an ungodly amount of calories in Mementos. You need to eat more."

The fingers leave his aching ribs and come up to push his mask out of the way. Joker touches his face with just his fingertips, so gentle it almost tickles. A lover's caress.

"And I hate that you ever have to go hungry. It shouldn't happen," Joker says, lowering the register of his voice so it doesn't carry. The gesture won't be missed by their party, but the soft fierceness of the statement is for Yusuke alone.

Something in Yusuke's chest tips forward and spills. Awe and sick realization flood his lungs, making it hard to breathe in a way that has nothing to do with the blow he took in the last battle.

_It shouldn't happen._

Why does that hit him so hard?

He normally relishes in the sort of affection underlying Joker's touch and words, but no smile comes. Instead, he raises a hand to cover Joker's, leaning into the touch. It's grounding.

When Yusuke stays quiet, Joker eventually speaks up.

"Whenever you don't have enough money for food, just. Come over, okay? I have a part time job, I can afford to feed you even if Sojiro doesn't leave ingredients for curry."

Yusuke nods. Joker smiles and leans in for a kiss.

"Alright, come on, that's enough. You're making all the single people in the room feel bad," Skull complains from across the safe room.

Joker kisses Yusuke anyways, but the shattered-glass feeling in his stomach fades as the mood breaks.

*

Context is not the same as history.

There are stories you can't process without understanding their past, but that isn't all that context is. Every square is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square.

Context can change suddenly, twisting history along with it.

A parent's abandonment is instant, and every loving moment in the past will sink into that new context. The skyscrapers and dams you built with their love collapse under the weight of _context_ , a natural disaster in the soul.

What do you do when you learn the conditions they've set on unconditional love?

*

"You should stay here."

There's no prelude to this. Yusuke has been quiet for ten minutes. They're sitting on Akira's couch, Akira massaging the overuse out of Yusuke's tired hands. It helps with blood flow, and is an excuse to touch him regardless. Akira itches for physical contact when they're separated, even by a few inches.

"I live here, Yusuke."

It's a deflection and Akira knows that. He can decipher Yusuke's non sequiturs at their worst; he knows exactly what _this_ means.

"And you should continue to do so. Parting sounds... Too painful to bear."

He closes long, slender fingers over Akira's work-rough ones. The temptation for more contact becomes too much and Akira sets his head on Yusuke's shoulder.

He sighs.

"Now that I've been cleared, my parents... want me back."

"We wanted you either way," Yusuke says, sounding affronted. Akira smiles into his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I don't want it to be a legal issue for Sojiro."

"You are welcome to stay with me, then."

"In the school dorms. Which you hate."

"I would hate them far less with you there."

"You know the school wouldn't allow that. Either school, actually."

"Then we won't tell the schools."

"You'd get in trouble."

"You are worth any trouble it brings me."

That brings the conversation to an abrupt stop. Akira takes his head off Yusuke's shoulder to search his face. They just look at each other for a long moment, Yusuke determined and Akira bewildered.

"You really mean that."

"Of course. I am very much in love with you."

Maybe the right response would have been words, but Akira kisses Yusuke instead.

It feels right.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is @[xenosaurus](http://xenosaurus.tumblr.com)


End file.
